Thursday, February 16, 2012

I Choose Joy.....

One in six.

One in six couples will experience infertility at some point during their TTC journey. This month marks the one year anniversary of when we began trying to conceive.



Photo by Orange Sheep Photography
My husband and I are facing the heartbreak of male factor infertility. Approximately 40% of all  infertility cases are attributed to the man, and we were told that we would likely never conceive naturally without treatment or medical intervention. Oh ye of little faith!  I keep reminding myself that ALL things are possible with God.


 But Abram said, “Sovereign LORD, what can you give me since I remain childless and the one who will inherit my estate is Eliezer of Damascus?” And Abram said, “You have given me no children; so a servant in my household will be my heir.” Then the word of the LORD came to him: “This man will not be your heir, but a son who is your own flesh and blood will be your heir.” He took him outside and said, “Look up at the sky and count the stars—if indeed you can count them.” Then he said to him, “So shall your offspring be.” Abram believed the LORD, and he credited it to him as righteousness.


-Genesis 15:2-6


Abraham believed the Lord, he trusted beyond all reason, and God fulfilled his promise. I am trying my best to trust God each day that he will provide a child for our family in His perfect timing. At first feelings of bitterness and despair  consumed me regarding our situation, but today I am choosing joy rather than frustration and negativity.   I am choosing to seek God and His kingdom first, believing that in His faithfulness our needs and desires will be met. It's a tough road....

I'm praying for patience and peace.

Photo by Orange Sheep Photography


At the same time, my husband and I know we want to adopt someday. Ever since the summer after my freshman year of college I have felt called to adopt.  My heart is with international adoption, and we have been researching the topic a lot lately and praying about when we should start the process. We always thought we would have biological children first, and then adopt later on down the road. Perhaps.....God has other plans.



Photo by Orange Sheep Photography
 As you can see, we have a lot of unknowns and big decisions to make, and we would be so grateful if you would keep us in your prayers. Thankfully, we have been able to seek treatment with a urologist and as of today we received news that things are improving little by little. (Thank you, Lord!) I debated whether I should post this for all the world to see, but I feel like I owe it to you, dear readers, to know why at times the Roost has been rather quiet lately.


18 comments:

  1. Sometimes life takes a different turn. I always thought I'd have 3 kids. Yep 3. Nice odd number. You see I was an only child and always loved other kids. As I grew up, I watched other's peoples kids as a part time job and loved every minute of it.
    My husband and I got married and just sort of approached it as when we wereready, we'd have them. It's been 14 years. I found out that I have a genetic medical condition and while I always thought I would have 3 kids, I am now at peace with my life knowing this is what God had in store for me.

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    1. My heart goes out to you.....I cannot imagine! I hope that God gives you a miracle still. I am glad that you are at peace with it though, for God's peace surpasses all understanding!

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  2. I know that sometimes things don't make sense, but I am happy that you can find faith and trust that there is something larger at work. I wish for you everything that you wish for and all that is meant to be. Be kind to yourself. Love each other. Continue to trust.

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  3. Thank you for sharing. You both are in my thoughts.
    Camille

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  4. Megan ~ I know so much the heartache you and your husband are experiencing. My husband and I went through the same thing many years ago. He was totally sterile and it was devasting to him. He always said it didn't matter, but over time, it took a toll on him and our marriage. He became very bitter and angry and turned to drinking. Feeling so alone in my marriage, I eventually succumbed to the arms of another man's attention and accidentally got pregnant. It is a long story ~ a soap opera type of story ~ a story that ended with much heartache for all concerned. My husband and I divorced after the birth of my daughter and he died a few years ago from lung cancer. My daughter and I spent our years together for I never remarried and she turns 23 tomorrow. There is much good that came out of it all due to God's extravagant grace, but I guess what I really want to say to you is draw near to God with every ounce of your strength. We made the mistake of turning elsewhere to lick our wounds. If I could turn back time and do it all different, I would cling to the Lord with everything I have. Beware that you don't let this come between you and your husband and God. It happens quite easily and very subtly and you hardly notice until one day you wonder how did I get here. I look back now and hardly know that person that was unfaithful to my husband. It wasn't who I was or where I intended to go, but Satan knows how to prey on our weaknesses. Be diligent to follow hard after God who will make a way when there is no way. He is good and His mercy endureth forever. I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything ~ she is a precious gift to me, but oh how I wish I had gotten her God's way. Above all ~ remember God is good.
    Didn't mean to get so personal and I hope you don't think I am insinuating this will pull you apart or away from God. I just wanted to share with you my mistake and what happens when you let a root of bitterness spring up in your heart.
    If you ever need to talk, I am here. I found one of the hardest things is that no one wanted to talk to me about my heartache. It made them too uncomfortable and made me feel even more alone. I'll be praying for you and your husband. With love ~ Cindy

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    1. Cindy, Wow thank you so much for sharing your story with me! I can completely understand how bitterness could wedge someone apart from their husband and from God. It would be very easy to do. What words of truth you have written above- I am hoping to cling tightly to God through this struggle and pray that it makes my faith and marriage stronger because of it. Thank you so much for your prayers :)

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  5. Megan, I get on my knees everyday asking God this very thing! My husband and I have been married for five years and have been officially trying for three years. I must learn to wait upon the Lord. All hope and peace comes from Him even if His answer is different than the one I pray for. My prayers go out to you and your husband as you go through this potentially trying time. Thank-you for sharing this. I can't tell you how reading through your post and the following comments have helped me today! The Lord gives blessings in many ways, so thank-you for sharing this.
    Maria

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    1. Maria, I am so blessed by your comment and so glad that this post has blessed you! Waiting is so hard, as you well know, and we are definitely learning to be more patient through all of this! My husband and I have also been married for 5 years....so I can relate completely in terms of being more than ready for children! I will be keeping you and your husband in my prayers and I hope you don't have to wait much longer!

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  6. Blessings to you as you deal with this. Don't give up! We were married 10 years before our biological child was born. There were not many options available medically to us 40 years ago. Then 4 years later were able to adopt a daughter. Both of my children were miracle babies. Sally

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    1. Sally, that is so wonderful! Thank you for sharing and for giving us hope!

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  7. I'm glad you posted this. Infertility is not discussed openly enough. I understand why, but I think it gives women a false sense that it's "easy", which drives them to delay having children or be insensitive to those for whom it is not easy. I feel that all of us who've had some difficulty owe to other women to talk about that difficulty. I'm so thankful that we live at a time when there are options once we encounter these difficulties. Best of luck in your journey.

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    1. Baby Mama- I couldn't agree more. I've noticed many women are uncomfortable talking about it, especially those that have recently had babies or have no trouble at all. And you are right, we are so fortunate to have medical options that can help those of us who have difficulty conceiving. Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment!

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  8. Megan,

    I have asked the Lord to give you and your husband the desire of your hearts.

    Our story is very different as we chose to cut off our fertility. Once we turned to the Lord we were convicted to reverse what we had done. It took a bit longer to get pregnant but we did! We still don't know to this day what my husbands sperm count is and my husband refuses to check because we surrendered our fertility to the Lord and all it takes is "one" little swimmer.

    It's in His hands....His more then capable hands. You can read my testimony at my blog if you'd like.

    Your newest follower....love to you, angela

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    1. Hi Angela! Wow! What an inspiring story and testimony. I love that you completely surrendered your fertility over to the Lord and he blessed you for it. That is what I am trying to do each month as well even though it is so hard to want to take control of it myself! You are so right it is in His capable hands. Thank you so much for your prayers and for following :)

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  9. Megan, though our situation was a little different, we understand the frustration, heartbreak and fear you're facing and we also know the joy of finally being blessed with a child after having gone through that darkness. If I can give you any advice it's to stay open, just as you have been with this post. You never know who is reading who needs to see God work through you. And I promise, God is working through this situation! Please know our prayers are with you and that I'm here if you ever need an ear.

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    1. Thank you so much, Amanda. I need to be reminded from time to time to stay open and to know that God is working through all of this- he is certainly growing me and strengthening my faith! It's nice to have a friend who has gone through this experience :)

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